I am a mother

In May of last year Allen took me on a date. It was not just an "i love you" date or a " lets go have fun " kinda date. It was a " You are going to be a mommy" date.  Allen and I had a tiny seceret. We had told no one that we were expecting. We went out to a new resturant downtown and we talked about our tiny secrect. We guessed if our secrect would be a boy or a girl. We were all smiles and disbelief.

This year Mother's day was extremely special. I will never forget my very first Mother's day, but this time around I understood and knew what it means to be a mother. Its an amazing honor to be a mom to Molly. I never knew that it would be so hard and so easy at the same time. I never knew what tired ment. Or what it ment to be selfless. I never knew the joy of holding pure love in my arms. I am so thankful for every day that the Lord has allowed me to take care of Molly. I know that she is His creation and I am honored to care for her, love her and protect her. As I laid in our bed last night the room was dark only slightly illumniated by moonlight. I could make out the outline of Molly's tiny hands and face. I listened to her drinking her bottle and her tiny baby noises that I know are going to disapear way to fast. I breathed in the moment. I took a mental photograph. I love the quiet moments with her. I love smelling her baby smell, watching her mouth move as she drinks her nighttime bottle and her tiny fingers curl around my own. Sigh.

Last night as I was sharing my thoughts with the Lord I told Him that I hoped that I could live to see Molly be a mother herself. Only God knows if that dream will come true, but as I pray for Molly's life and all her dreams to come true, I will continue to pray that mine do too.