In an effort to be transparent (because why not? in a world where people play pretend and wear masks, let this place not be just another place for dress up and false security) I will share two things that I learned last night about myself.
1. I need better (i.e. healthier) ways to cope with stress and disappointment.
2. I cannot serve both God and Money. I know the verse like I know the back of my own hand but yet, I am still trying to learn the lesson.
It is so hard. It is hard for me. Its easy for me to feel secure because of a number in my bank account or a pay check. It is hard for me to let ALL my hope be in Jesus Christ alone. He knows that. We talk about it, and he is gently teaching me but it is not an easy lesson to learn. My heart is willing by my flesh is so weak. Just this Sunday our pastor spoke truth to me (even though i did not know it at the time). He was talking about having HOPE in Jesus Christ and he gave lots of examples of where people find their hope. In their marriage, in their job status/title, in their home, in their bank account, in the future etc. Little did I know that the Holy Spirit would reveal in just a few short days that my hope is in the wrong place. Not ALL my hope mind you, but a good portion of it.
Good thing that God is bigger than me and bigger than my mistakes and mess ups. Good thing that when you ask for something in Jesus name that it will be given to you - and I know what my heart truly wants is in align with his good and pleasing perfect will. I can HOPE in that this morning.
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