Before the beach

The day we left for our first ever beach trip with Miss Molly was a day mixed with sadness and fear.

The night before we left a big strom blew through the southeast.  We heard the wind and the rain all night long and could see the lightening outside our bedroom window. The next morning was my offical first day of spring break so I happily stayed in my pj's whle Allen got ready for work and I fed Molly.  He left earlier than usual to take his car in to the shop before we left for our big trip.  I was at home doing things around the house when our power flickerd on and off. I thought that was unusual but chalked it up to the storm and didn't think much about it when it came back on. I heard sirens from outside but they sounded pretty far away so I thought about it for a mintue and then went back to playing with Molly.

About an hour later Allen called asking if I was okay because he had heard that a tree fell down in our neighborhood and he didn't know where.  I was fine and told him I hadn't heard anything.  Molly and I went on about our day playing and laughing and taking pictures together. 

I had to pick up Allen from work to go get his car and that's when he told me that someone had been killed by the tree that fell. Apparently a young man was driving out of the neighborhood when it happened and the tree fell on top of his car. For whatever reason that moment that Allen told me I was just deeply saddened. It really bothered me the rest of our visit and on the way home I drove around looking for the fallen tree.

It wasn't very hard to find since it was at the entrance of our street and what I saw took my breath away.  The tree must have been about 100 years old because of its massive size. As I drove by the ambulance drove away and it broke my heart that someones life had been taken. Later on Molly and I walked down the street and watched in dismay as a family member stood there crying.

I realized in that moment how our life really isn't our own. The tradegy that struck that family could have been my family. It could have been Allen on his way to the body shop. It could have been me if I wasn't on spring break. Every morning at 8am I leave our neighborhood on that exact same street. It could have been the bus that picks up the children in the neighborhood every morning, but it was srping break. Thankfully for me it wasn't my husband or my child or even my own life that was lost that day. Its really scary to think about and as another storm blew through last night it is all I could think about as I tried to fall asleep.

I hope that I can live in the moments today and not take it for granted. Even when I feel frustration with myself or others, or when I am too tired to give my family my love and attention at night. I have never been promised more than this minute and I know that I don't live like that. I waste so much time focusing my energy and love on things that don't matter. I don't want to be like that anymore.