step one.

sometimes i read stories from the news or i hear stories from a friend, student, co-worker and its breaks me. it is like something inside just breaks. i cannot bear the sadness, the horror, the loss because it is so tragic so "not the way life is supposed to be."

a friend from college is on a journey with her family to adopt two beautiful children from the congo. i know a little about the congo just from reading or watching stories here and there but for the most part i feel like the world as a whole is pretty quiet about the congo. maybe that is just me and the media is loud about the injustice, the sadness the wickedness that the people of the congo endure.

this morning i opened up her blog and what i read broke me. it shattered my heart. it was so hard to bear. but i believe that i have to bear it. i have to know the truth so that i can pray for the country. i can cry out to God and beg him for justice, for protection and for rescuing the lives of the children in the congo. for healing the wicked and helping them turn their faces to Him.

the first step is education. knowledge.opening up your mind.

how can you change something if you don't know anything about it?


so please join me in educating yourself and others by going HERE

and then pray. pray. pray.

f.o.u.r.

four things that i am going to work on this week.

1. sing in the shower

2. clean up my workspace.

3. listen to new music.

4. take breaks.

what about you?

anything new you want to do this week?

Let's eat cake!

Molly MacRae at her first birthday party.

Family, friends, food and fun!

Happy Brithday sweet baby girl!

xoxo mama

8:21pm

what a joyous moment when molly came into the world.

i. could. not. stop the tears.

our lives have been infinitely better because of her little life

and it has been such

an honor and privilege to walk through this first year of life with her.

i pray and hope she knows how much she is loved by her mama and daddy and how amazing and valuable she is to this world!

a year ago today

a year ago today we were preparing for the greatest change to our life as we knew it

baby was on the way

i don't remember exactly what i did for a whole day.

wait a minute, i was on bed rest so yeah i do remember what i did baby's birthday eve.

i remember my mom coming into town and allen taking off a day from work

i remember our house being so quiet and still

i remember packing the infamous hospital bag

i remember what i wore out of the house and into the hospital.

the night of birthday eve our little family went out to eat at a pizzeria downtown

then we made our way over to the hospital and checked in.

crazy that it has already been a year.

i am sad and so very thankful at the same time.

tonight allen and i are going back to the pizzeria downtown to celebrate each other, molly and our life before we entered into parenthood.

can't wait!



Christmas came early....

Christmas came early for me this year....one of my oldest and most dear friends came to visit and celebrate molly's first year of life with us this weekend. It went by so fast but every moment was special and so valuable!

hi's and bye's

hello.

just a quick post to say hi and then bye again.

thanksgiving was so fun and different this year as we got to celebrate with TWO families

and enjoy the cold mountain air.

molly is becoming more and more independent, a quality i love and hate all in the same moment.

i have had the desire lately to put down this blog for a little bit of time and take a rest.

so that is what i am going to do.

i know it will be hard for you not stoping by to read some randomness right?

anyways, i love you to pieces and i appreciate every time you take time

out of your busy day to stop on over and see what life is like for us....

until next time

Merry Christmas!

gobble gobble

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hug someone you love and eat lots of turkey!

love,

Allen/Whitney/Molly

-xoxo-

pop tarts and private pratice

i am watching private practice and eating pop tarts

i still have lots of work to do before friday

but

thanksgiving break is here.

yay!

wish you were here with me !

mama bird



mama bird with molly bird

-joy complete-

in awe.

1st John 2:1


I write this, dear children, to guide you out of sin. But if anyone does sin, we have a Priest-Friend in the presence of the Father: Jesus Christ, righteous Jesus. When he served as a sacrifice for our sins, he solved the sin problem for good—not only ours, but the whole world's.
 
I was just reading this and I had to stop and share. I mean do you understand that? That GOD loves the WHOLE WIDE WORLD?!! The past, present, and future? All of those people?? I mean if you stop and think about it it just amazing. He loves the students that I teach, he has always known them. He loves the lady at Chickfila who served me my coffee this morning. He loves the the orphan and he loves the old. He loves the student with behavior problems just as much as he loves the student who walks across to accept an award for AB honor roll. I know the verse is talking about SACRIFICE but you don't sacrifice without love.
You don't give up, give away or let go of something that you don't care about. A sacrifice is something that you give up for someone or something else. God gave up his one and only son. one. just one. for me and for my students and for the people in India or Africa or Belize that i will never ever meet.
 
it's a struggle for me to want to give up an hour of my weekend time with molly to volunteer at church. that is one hour. i cannot fathom giving up her LIFE for someone else who lied, or stole, or had an affair or the list goes on. her life is precious. every single second. so was jesus life. but his life ended so mine could go on forever. and anyone else who chooses to place their faith and trust in God alone.
 
all i can say is thank you to jesus and to god the father. glory in the highest to you lord.

working until midnight

every since i have become a mama (like since the 1st trimester) i have given up on late nights. a late night for me is like 11pm. i am okay with that and i value and covet my sleep time.

sometimes when allen and are hanging out with friends or family we stay up past 11 and i feel like a teenager again. its a good feeling, you know? like you are living on the edge?

wait a minute. did i just say that living on the edge was staying up until 11pm? holy cow how times have changed.

anyways, last night i got to working on molly's birthday cards. i decided this year to go the handmade route instead of the order from a website. i am so glad that i did! i had some reservations at first but i finally got all my ducks in a row and made it work. i am so proud of the way they turned out.

i stayed up last night until midnight! just me and maggie laying beside me watching me cut and stamp and glue and repeat.

i made a few extra cards for fun and i am planning on doing our christmas cards the same way. handmade is so awesome because you spend time thinking about the person and what they might like, how to arrange words and other details like that.

i am definitely going to make this a regular routine. it was some good therapy!

almost one ....

happy 11 months today molly macrae!

we love you with all our hearts and can't believe that we get to be your mama and daddy

xoxox

* last night i snapped this while she was in the tub (why it says 10months)

Thankfulness

There are so many many many things to be thankful for! I mean when you really stop and think about it there are millions of things to be thankful for. I know that it is so easy to think like this when things are nice and rosey.

In honor of the upcoming holiday I wanted to post a few things that I am thankful for today.

1. My life.
2. My health and families health
3. Molly
4. Gas in my car this morning
5. Hot chocolate in my hand
6. A job that I love

What are YOU thankful for today?

"i'm gonna get you!"

a game molly plays with her daddy

never seen a faster baby.ever.

enjoy!

xoxo

life recently

My new faves:

in no particular order

1. jesus. (always been my fave but really really my favorite person of ALL)
2. quaker natural granola
3. chickfila coffee
4. enjoying the park with molly macrae
5. snuggling by the fire at the end of a long day
6. hope
7. handmade birthday cards
8. planning molly's birthday party (its the big ONE)
9. goodwill (got molly the cutest red corduroy pants and smocked dress
10. pintrest for dinner ideas

a present

lately i have had birthday party on the brain. not mine but miss molly's birthday party. should we do only family? what about families with children? smash cake or cupcake? color scheme? what about molly's nap schedule? etc.

the other day driving home from work i thought about gifts for her and trying to zero in on "needs" not "wants."  as a parent i want to give molly the world. i really really do. i want to lavish her with baby dolls and toys that spark her interest and imagination. i love seeing her eyes light up at a new "thing" even if that thing is a paper towel roll or baby doll hairbrush.

looking on Pintrest the other day i spotted THIS and i really wish that i could purchase it for her birthday. i know she is too young to appreciate it but it would be really awesome to have.

do your remember them?

try a little harder

i realized on sunday that i have to try a little harder.

that jesus said things would be hard. that it is not a promise that every day will be easy.

one area that i need to try a little harder, is loving even when i don't feel like it.

even when i feel like the other person needs to grow up/get over it/deal with it.

i am supposed to respond in love. why? because jesus does every single day even when

i need to grow up/get over it/ deal with it.

unexpected.

it is the weekend.

phew.

so glad that friday finally decided to show up.

i wish that i could curl up under the covers and hide this weekend.

my heart needs to be encouraged

my spirit needs to be refreshed

my body needs some sleep

but

i have company coming in

and laundry to do

and a sweet little girl to take care of first.

thankful for

the sweet baby

the awesome company

the ability to pay for water to wash my dirty clothes

but prayers would be appreciated.

xo

finished...almost

last night after molly went to bed and after dinner was over i sat on the couch and worked. I sat under an old old family quilt and created and cut and glued. TV was on in the background but no one was really watching. allen was signing up to serve at passion and i was a busy little bee working on my project.

i still need to do a little fixing with the hot glue gun but i am happy to say one project is crossed off the to do list. i also worked a little on my pumpkin project mentioned yesterday but not ready for the reveal.

distraction

i have a long "to-do" list.

i used to live by "to-do" lists and it would majorly stress me out when they were not finished.

not anymore.

now they are more like a guide. and i like it a lot better that way.

some of my things on my "list" for tonight are:

- finish the pumpkin project

- complete yarn wreath

- send someone some love mail

- laundry ( of course, when is that not on the list?)

somehow when i get home, after i play with molly + allen and cook supper then i sit down in front of the television and just stop. i feel for some reason that i deserve to sit down and do nothing. but, then i never get anything done and i feel lazy afterwards. i don't want to do that anymore. time for some change.

take a picture, it lasts longer

mama and molly 

what does it mean to you?

what does the word church mean to you?

i was sitting in my church yesterday morning and i started thinking about that word.

sometimes i don't like that word because i feel like nowadays there is such a watered down version

when i think/hear of the word church i think of a lot of different things

i think of jesus

i think of my home church i grew up in

i think of home and of the sunday school leaders that loved me and helped grow me in my faith

i think of the world wide church

i think of my church now, pcc that is amazing and life giving

i think of church as a safe place

but as i sat there on sunday fully tuned into the Lord i realized that church is all those things

but

most importantly it is a place that helps me remember. remember that i am so loved

that i am never forgotten or left behind

i am a part of god's long arching story

and that

is

amazing

8:08 pm

it's sunday and its almost over.

molly is asleep snug in her bed and dinner is cooking in the oven.

I am not ready for the weekend to be over. Can't it last just a little longer?

Some hi's and lo's from this weekend (that is almost over)

lo's ( let's get those over with)

- molly totally throwing off her schedule
- an argument that resulted in hurt feelings
- allen working from 7am - 6pm on Sunday

High's
- swinging at the park with mama, daddy and grammy m.
- finding a cheap and adorable flannel shirt for molly at ross
- passion city church and god totally speaking to me and helping me remember how much he loves me
- hanging out with a good friend today
- a clean home
- molly taking a 2.5 hour nap
- allen attacking the jungle that was our backyard
- hot chocolate and driving around saturday morning loving our city

Go read a book

Every morning I have a routine. The time might change but the order of my routine usually doesn't. My routine for getting ready is pretty set in stone. I guess I am a creature of habit and that is okay with me.

A part of my routine is catching up with people that I know, but don't really know. People in the blog world. I have learned so much from other's blogs. One in particular (I have been following for about 3 years) is a top 3 favorite. Liz Owens aka http://www.mableshouse.blogspot.com/ has become a staple in my morning routine. Her life has changed quite drastically over the past year with the birth of her first child and an drastic bout of illnesses that followed shortly after.

She has written a book and I am drying to read it. Check it out here: My (not so) Storybook Life.  She is pretty much a rockstar and I think if we ever hung out we would make each other laugh a lot. Her daughter is so cute and I just love reading about her life and how honest she is on her blog.

Happy Weekend!

i want to...

i want to do so much more than I am doing now.

I want to know the Lord so much more than I do now.

I want to be so much more than I am now.

I want molly to know that she was chosen before time began and has always been loved.

I want her to thing of her future as shiny and bright and full of opportunites.

I want her to travel the world, to make good lasting friendships and to believe in Jesus.

I hope that I can model those things for her. I hope that the Lord will help me die to myself because otherwise, she won't learn a whole lot from me.

Because this morning I had to ask God to help me not value fortune, or things, or popularity. I had to tell Him its hard not to want those things.

Its awesome living on this earth. Last night I might not have said that. This morning on my way into work I might not have thought that. But right now, right here I believe that. Because living on this earth is so easy. It's so easy to  buy into temptation and its so easy to not ask Jesus for help. Its so easy to be in the drivers seat and to forget to pray. But I believe that is the beauty of it. Because if it was all easy then it wouldn't be different. It wouldn't be a challenge. You wouldn't see growth. I wouldn't see the fruit of the hard work, the discipline and the change.

God is good all the time. All the time God is good. the end.

something

Some of the weeks are going by slowly and others are going by so fast. Molly is growing like a weed. Every day its as if she has gained a new skill, learned how to make a new sound and has grown immensely.

Sometimes I let my insecurities take over and I become frustrated, impatient and downcast.

Some days I love my job so so much. Those days make the other days bearable.

Sometimes I just want to move to another state. Maybe North Carolina. Maybe back home, where I grew up.

sometimes....

a weekend getaway.

 molly did most of the packing

 she loved all the brightly colored leaves

 the sunshine was beautiful

what a blessing and a joy to whisper in her ear "see that red leaf molly? God made that. Do you hear the sound of the waterfall? God made that."



5 things

5 things you may not know about me

1. my favorite candy bar is hershey with almonds

2. i listen to npr every morning on the way to work

3. i haven't had a piece of gum in over a year

4. i love glitter

5. my feet grew to a size 10 when i was pregnant. they are still sadly a size 10

a confession

I have a confession. I guess you could call it that. There is this blog that I love to read. I enjoy reading about this sweet little family and sweet baby girl. It has become part of my morning routine. They are always positive and happy and creative. Sometimes after reading their blog I get inspired. Maybe it is to make a picnic lunch and go to the park on Saturday with my sweet little family. Or maybe it is to create a book using all of my instagram photos.

But sometimes.

I leave their blog feeling defeated. I don't have all the money in the world to buy my sweet baby girl all the cutest clothes from all the fancy stores. I don't have the luxury of being a stay at home mom. I don't get up every morning and do yoga before the day starts. I don't know how to bake cinnamon rolls from scratch. This in no way is any fault of theirs. They are just living their happy little life and sharing with others about it.

The thing is.

 I love my family. I love our life. There will always be areas of improvement in my life, especially if I am trying to be more and more like Christ and less and less like "me."  I would adore dressing up molly in cute tights and shorts and a little jean jacket but....couldn't I use that money to pay off hospital bills or the water bill? Could I use that money to send to Amazima that gives food and truth to hungry belly's and hungry hearts? Yes of course I could. So even though my instinct is to jump on baby gaps website I have to pray and ask forgiveness for wanting more of the world and less of Christ. I am not saying that its bad or a sin to want to buy your child cute clothes (or actually buying your baby cute clothes) - that would be absurd. I am just personally convicted of where my money is going and if it is worth it.

I could by a yoga dvd and start a new habit and I can also google a recipe for home baked goods. I just wish that I didn't compare so much. I wish instead I could have a thought process that goes like this... " that is so awesome that she has the dedication to get up and do yoga in the morning." the end. Instead my thought process goes something like this:  " well whitney if you only did that you would be much happier/thiner/focused/desirable." Here's the thing, will I really be that much thinner? Or will molly and allen love me more if I get up and do yoga? I don't think the answer to those questions is yes.

Last month I took a 30 day hiatus of reading the blog mentioned above. And you know what? I was much more content with my cirucumstance. With my personality and with the way we live our lives. I wasn't comparing every day and coming up with the conclusion that I am less and they (that family) are more. That one was better than the other.

I know that taking a blog break isn't going to "fix" what is broken in the way I feel about myself or the way I view my life.  It is absolutley the love of Christ, who He says I am and what His word says about me that will have a lasting change. So that is what I am hopeful for. A lasting eternal change.

they change your life. forever.

God is so amazing that he has given me the honor of having molly as my daughter. Its hard to imagine that HE loves her more than me because my love for her is deeper than any ocean. I pray and hope with all my heart that she will know the Lord personally and that she will be filled with His compassion for others in need.

i had no idea how much this girl would change my life. no idea.

dresser re - do

 This was the dresser before. Pretty ugly. Pretty much hideous. I couldn't take it anymore.....

Sorry for the messy quality of photos...i think it was on my phone.

This is the after.yay! I love it. It adds so much more cheer to any room that it lives in. We moved it into Molly's room and she loves the knobs and the color. Hazzah for taking something ugly and making it beautiful!

friday.yay.

Have a happy weekend friends!

xoxo

molly and evangeline

friends forever (at least i hope).

you can read about evangeline's family right HERE

weekend photos....

 My beautiful baby girl

 Molly jealous of my hat

 Molly and her silly face

Molly exploring 

Monday

Where did my house go?

It has been over taken by boxes of diapers, high chairs, contraptions to keep baby entertained when you are not holding her/she is crawling, johnny jumpers for the doorways and lots and lots of puffs.

I was a little worried during my pregnancy that I would not be able to handle the mess that comes with a little person. Thankfully, I have been surprised at how easy it is! I don't mind picking up her bunny stuffed animal or little plastic cups she likes to drink out of or half chewed puffs or pieces of papers she rips up. Its a JOY. Now why can't that transfer to picking up after yourself or your husband?

Baby got back

whoa.

where did THAT come from?

hahahaha

no special effects i promise.

molly mae, you are awesome

even when your not doing anything you put a smile on my face.

you are my dream come true sweet girl.

Last night.

Last night I ate leftovers.

I re-organized my bedroom and my hall closet.

I did several loads of laundry.

I watched one episdoe of Fraiser.

Then

Jenna arrived.

We got into our pjamas

We had lots of girl talk.

We tried to watch Parenthood but we just kept thinking of things to tell one another

It was SO good for my soul.

Then

Allen came home from work.

He got Jenna to try a "who nu?" cookie

we laughed a lot

we watched Parenthood

Then

we went to bed.

It was a great AWESOME night.

Randomness

1. I like Special K Vanilla Almond
2. Shopping at Target is always more fun with Allen
3. My husband can make a mean pasta sauce.
4. Yesterday I wore fall boots for the first time. They were a hit with my students!
5. I miss my home in St. Simons Island
6. My dad is awesome.
7. I appreciate it so much whenever someone reads my blog and leaves a comment.
8. Why is it so hard to find a good Chinese food place?
9. Some friends of mine recently adopted a beautiful baby girl and my heart overflows for them.
10. I wish the weekends were longer.

Why?

Does Chick-fil-A have to be so good?

Our life recently in photos....

 Molly and Jack finally meet

 Lunch date with Mama

First time on the swing!

A letter for Friday

Dear Husband,

Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your early morning hugs. Thank you for getting up at 2 am and soothing our daughter back to sleep. Thank you for my new digital camera because you know how much documenting our life means to me. Thank you for always wanting to know about my day. Thank you for asking me to marry you 2 years ago under the moon that was smiling on us.

I love you dearly. I am so glad we get to share in our life together.

wifey

Seperation Anxiety

Is taking over my life. Seriously.


I might as well put up a tent in Molly's room because I figure that is the only way I can get a good solid nights sleep.

location location location

sometimes its fun to get away.

my family did it alllll the time.

jacksonville, savannah, atlanta, highlands

we did it the other weekend.

my husbands so sweet, knowing how much i love to travel.

any guesses where we ended up?

Guest blogger: Molly

hey ya'll! just wanted to stop by and say thanks for taking time to read my mamas blog. she likes to write and share her thoughts with you so it always means so much to her when you write something back or take a minute to read it. don't ya like my shorts? they are super comfortable. i like them because they have hearts on them and they dont get in my way when i try to crawl like silly dresses do. i wish mama and daddy would let me sleep in their bed, look how soft this blanket is! and no bars? wow, i wanna be grown up too.

i hope your gonna have a fun weekend, i get to spend so much time with mama and daddy it makes me so happy. i love it when they crawl on the floor like me or when mama makes up silly songs to the tune of itsy bitsy spider when i am mad and stuck in my car seat. weekends are the best.

MOLLY

An old letter from husband...

So cleaning out inbox of old email accounts I found some treasures. Letters between me and Allen written long ago when were just friends to newly dating to saying "i love you" and more. It did my heart some good to read and remember our past life where we planned surprise dates for one another and talked about the small details of our days.

Emails now consist of one liners and questions like  can you go to Publix for me" and " how is your headache?" I think we need to put the spark back in our everyday letters to one another even if its just a quick email.

Anyways, found this old picture of my man and an old email to go along with it. Did you know that one time Allen climbed up my balcony to leave porch furniture on the deck because a day earlier I had said that I wished I had a table and chairs? And did you know that on said table he had written a letter along with scripture to go along wit it. He stole my heart early on...

Hello my beautiful and wonderful girlfriend.  I am having a moment of really really missing you right now.  I don't know why it hit me just now, but it did.  I almost want to tear up a little bit thinking about you.  All I really want to do, short of being with you right now, is read your wonderful note you gave me yesterday.  it made me so happy and so thankful that I have someone who thinks so much of me. I am so thankful God has given me you - for that reason specifically.  i love you! - allen.

my love language

is fall.

fall weather
fall fashion
fall activities
fall holidays.

On the way to work this morning the temp read 60 degrees! How amazing is that!! I know that since Georgia's weather is moody that Saturday might be back up in the 90s but I am going to celebrate this amazing weather with hot tea, walks around the neighborhoods and wearing a scarf!

Have a happy day!

a little bit of this and that

a lot and a little going on this week.

doctors appointment

coming up with home cooked meals for my adorable family

work work work

sick baby who knows how to stand in her crib and cry forever

bike riding

travels across states to see babies, friends and husbands of friends



Happy Long Weekend!

I hope you  have a fun restful and beautiful long weekend!

Love,

Allen, Whitney and Molly

A walk around the neighborhood

the other night we went on a little walk.

i am sure the neighbors thought we were theives.

we're not.

somehow a house a few streets over a home got our recycle bin and we went to get it back.

mr. neighbor knew.

we exchanged emails.

we still got some funny looks as we made our way back home.

Dear Diet Soda,

It is time for us to part ways. I know that we have been together for a long long time. Thank you for all the tasty refreshment you have served me over the past decade. I love you with a slice of pizza and a I love you with salsa and chips. Its 2011. I have to choose health over taste.

Sincerly,
Addicted to diet coke

Molly's 1st...

the other weekend after church.

we took Molly out to eat and the waitress loved her.

she brought her a balloon.

here it is.

Dear Sunday

So far you have been so good to me! Thank you for your beautiful weather this morning so Molly and I could enjoy walking around the neighborhood and enjoy God's beautiful creation! Dear Molly, you are the cutest baby I have ever met. I love your giggles and how excited you get when you discover new things. Dear baby crib, I suspect some chewing in your future. Molly discovered how to pull up on you and here gums were very happy. Dear Husband, thank you for cleaning the shower yesterday! It was sparkly clean! Dear bathroom steam, I got out of the shower and thought I saw writing on the mirror. My mind for a minute totally believed that there was a ghost in the house like in the movie What Lies Beneath. Dear sleeping baby, I loved you before I ever saw you and I will love you forever and ever.

My little reader

My little reader....

Playing with Saturday's purchases:

A sealed bag of dog raw hides

A Bible story book

Butternut Squash baby food

Evil exists.

I can’t live in a world with this much heartache. I don't want to live in a world with this much evil. Those where my thoughts this morning when I read in the AJC that a family of three was found in a bathtub with a toaster close by plugged in. The parents survived. The baby did not. How can this be? How can this evil exist?


My heart cries out to the Lord, why? I can’t even imagine how much more the Lords heart breaks.

I am praying this morning for children who have found themselves in the hands of someone that does not have their best interest in mind. I pray that God would change hearts and speedily change circumstances. I pray also that he keeps this on my heart so that as my mind forgets this morning’s news story my heart and spirit will continue to pray for the little lives that are in such danger.

A blog that made me laugh all the way home

So my dear sweet friend Summer sent me this blog the other day. It cracks me up. I looked at right before I got in my car for the 45 minute commute home and it made me laugh out loud. I have since made Allen read it and a few others. If you have a kid or have had children then there is no way you won't find this funny.....

LAUGH

Da Da

My heart loves this photo

I know Molly is going to love it to when she is my age and she looks back at photo albums.

I can just hear her now " look at dad! he was so handsome when he was young! I was such a cute baby too. That cell phone is huge! Now cell phones are just little buttons we pin on our clothes."

love to dada and molls

xo

mama

Pros vs. Cons

I have been doing some thinking. I would like to share my thoughts here.

Before I started this little blog I was always online reading up on my friends blogs. I loved hearing about their adventures or seeing pictures of them in their own little life's going about every day. It was a great way for me to feel connected to those that were far away. I kind of made it my morning routine. I would wake up get a cup of coffee and sit down for some reading. Then one day I stumbled upon a blog of someone that I had never met and I started reading. I stumbled upon another blog and another blog. I found blogs about redecorating, cooking and repuropsing old things. I was in blog "heaven." I would use so much of my time looking into other people's lives and adventures and I enjoyed it.

Since then I have zeroed in on a few blogs that I regularly look at. I enjoy reading about particular things like home improvement or a friends life as a newly wed. I enjoy getting ideas on how to use things around my house for multi use instead of just throwing it away or how to cook a healthy meal for the husband and me. But I also have really allowed other's lives to make mine feel small. To make me feel like I am not pretty enough, or creative enough or happy enough. Does that ever happen to you? Comparing myself to others has always been a weakness of mine. I can be perfectly happy with my weekend plans and then I read that someone is going on a fabulous picnic with their sweetie and then taking a tour of historic wherever and then making homemade blueberry pies and I feel like my weekend plans of "staying home in PJ's and playing with Molly" is all of a sudden lazy and boring.  I hate that.

I think that for the next month I am going to read my friends blogs that encourage me like this one And I will also read this friends and of course hers. I don't personally know this family or this sweet family of four but I am always encouraged in some way by reading about their life.

I hope that while I take a semi hiatus of blogs that I find myself feeling less than after reading, that God will really do a work in my heart. I love reading about the lives of others and I am inspried to think outside the box when I read them, I just have somehow fallen into the trap of comparasion. It is no way the authors fault of those blogs, it is just how I see myself in comparasion to them.

I am excited about the work I am asking God to do. I know that He loves me so so much and I believe that He doesn't want me to look at someone else's life with longing. He has plans beyond my imagination for my family and I want to be excited about those plans not someone else's.

another letter.

Dear worship team at PCC, you are awesome. Thank you for your excitement and commitment to bring Glory to God every single time, my husband and I enjoy worshiping alongside you! Dear man at church who almost sat on my head (seriously), please next time look before you sit down. Dear Maggie, thank you for making me laugh this morning when you stole my bath mat. I will forgive you even though you know I hate the feeling of wet feet on a bathroom floor. Dear husband, I love you. Thank you for your easy going personality. I am so glad your not a type A person.

Dear Sunday

Dear Sunday,

I am gonna be honest. I am not always a fan of you because you signal the weekends' almost over. Dear baby girl, thank you for being a rock star. I love that you slept for an hour and a half this morning I got a lot done. Dear yellow munchkin inflatable duck, you provide so much fun for molly I can't believe it. Dear mama, thank you for being my mama. Dear husband, you are so sweet. I love that you told me I was prettier than the sunrise today.

Love,
me

hall, brown, beverly, dobrenic

now known as: teacher, friend, sister, mother, helper, nurse, wife, lover of Jesus.

Friends are so hard to find. Hold on the ones you have and make them feel special.

Summer photographs

oh. how we all miss these days.

And thank you

To Sarah who sends me awesome photos of baby moments and to Haley who calls to check on me and to Summer who suggested that I put pictuers of my family and also her up in my room to not feel so lonely. Don't think I won't.

And of course to molly and allen for making my room sign and for hugs and kisses. And all my other family and friends who have shown me that they care about me. It is such a wonderful feeling. I love you very much.

Day 2

Thank you Jenna for your words of encouragement. Day 2 is slightly better. Bulletin board is halfway complete and Social Studies is sounding less boring.

Whoo to the hoo.

I feel like the "new" kid in school

Everything is different, everything is new.

New hallway. New principal. New classrooms. New students. New co-teachers. New expectations. New faces. New feelings.

And I am at the same school I have been at for 5 years. I feel like a duck out of water. I am struggling with Molly being far away. Molly on someone else's schedule. Molly not having her crib to rest in during the day.

Its day 1.

Almost the last day....

It is Saturday and almost the last day of summer for me.  I am usually not this attached to summertime. I mean sure, I love the sunshine and the lazy days and the no work thing, but Molly has made it much harder.

We have had such a blessed summer. I can't believe all the amazing things we have been able to do, places we have traveled and memories we have made. Molly has grown by leaps and bounds this summer and I am so glad that I was able to be there every second of it.

I am praying that tomorrow lasts forever and that our little family will make the most of the year that is yet to come.

2012

If you are my friend please remind me in 2012 to get a different job. No matter what I say. So.tired.of.this.

If only money grew on trees...

Could totally use this in our guest bathroom :

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=1&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=19586494&parentid=A_FURN_BATH&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,&navCount=0&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=A_FURN_BATH&popId=APARTMENT&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

Or this in our kitchen:

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=81&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=21151428z&parentid=A_DECORATE&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,+product.marketingPriority&navCount=135&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=A_DECORATE&popId=APARTMENT&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

Or this in our entry way:

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=161&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=20296034&parentid=A_DECORATE&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,+product.marketingPriority&navCount=75&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=A_DECORATE&popId=APARTMENT&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

Or this behind Molly's closet door:

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?itemdescription=true&itemCount=80&startValue=401&selectedProductColor=&sortby=&id=20051751&parentid=A_DECORATE&sortProperties=+subCategoryPosition,+product.marketingPriority&navCount=90&navAction=jump&color=&pushId=A_DECORATE&popId=APARTMENT&prepushId=&selectedProductSize=

I hope those all turned out alright!

Its hot.

Isn't it SO hot out ?

I mean, really hot!

Hotter than last summer right?

Check check check

Things have been wrapping up at our house for the summer. The days are fading fast and I am starting to prepare for my job as "teacher" not just "mommy."

Sooo in preparation of little time left to get things done and hurried schedules I have been doing a few things.

We re-arranged our living room to maximize crawling space for Miss Molly and also to just give it a fresh feel.

I painted an old ugly dresser and placed it in the dining room for some extra storage.

We turned a wall in our hallway into a chalkboard so that we can make lists, create reminders and write silly things to one another.

I still have a few more things to get done but it feels soooooo good!

Reality. In.Your.Face

http://vimeo.com/26792244

Please take the 3 minutes it takes to watch this video and educate yourself. So that....

You can pray.

You can spread the word.

You can change the life of a girl somewhere who you many never ever meet.

P.S. There might be a screening in your hometown and you could see the entire documentary not just a snippet. I am thinking about hosting one in Atlanta.

go away go away

I don't want the school year to start.

I am not ready to go back to work.

I am not ready to leave my precious baby in the arms of another for 8 hours.

I am losing sleep and trying to put my feelings the Hands of the Almighty.

Please pray for Molly as she makes this transition from being at home to being at day care.

Don't be surprised if I end up on....

The people of Wal-Mart website.

For.Real.

Today Molly and I decided to make a quick lil trip to wally world. She decided to have an explosion in her diaper while I was happily driving to the store. When we go the store I picked her up out of her car seat and to my dismay found her to be soaking wet.

"Silly Molly" I said, thinking that it was just a little pee.  But then....

I realized it was not anything little and it was not just pee.

So sweating and frantic and alone I put her in the trunk of my car to change her diaper. I know, I know sketchy. I felt like any moment someone was going to report me to the police. She cried. I wanted to cry.

With no clothes in her diaper bag to re-dress her in, we strolled into walmart looking for wipes and clothes. We found both and I was so embarrassed. Poor Molly. Almost completely naked with a pink bow in her hair and a mommy whose make up and melted off.

While we were shopping I picked up some extra wipes for her diaper bag...just in case.

Good News

I found my camera cord!

small things

Its the small things. Molly smiling at me with her gums. Molly scooting to me when Allen lays her down on our bed. Molly waving her arms in excitement at the sight of a slice of watermelon. Molly reaching out to pet Eli's scruffy face when he comes near.

Its love. Pure love. Head over heels love. Its love that is given freely and expects nothing in return. This summer has been such a GIFT to me and I am really sad to see it go. Two more weeks of fun with my darling daughter and I intend to soak up every moment and every memory.

Words that evoke happy feelings

Glitter
Lovely
Sparkle
Love
Romance
baby
Primrose
Joy
Twilight
Sunrise
Moonlight
Ocean breeze

The basement: a whole lot of stuff

Do you remember that awesome movie Home Alone? It was and still is one of my absolute favorites of a movie. Every December I pull out the movie and Allen and I will watch with our own Christmas tree twinkling in the background.

In the movie the young boy, Kevin, is afraid of the basement because of the dark furnace at the bottom of the stairs. In real life I am afraid of our basement because of the amount of junk/dirt/mess we have at the bottom of the stairs. Its not good.

It could so easily be better. It really could. I know that over night we can't turn the floors into our dream floors or put sheet rock up on the walls but we can clean. I mean, I do own a dust pan and a broom.  I think that a large part of our problem lies within too much stuff.  We really have too much stuff. Allen and I both keep things that have memories attached to them. Maybe its t-shirts from a college event or a coffee mug that was a grandparents but it starts to pile up. We have a lot of things and pieces of furniture that we do not need.

Take for example my love of blankets. I love blankets. I love to feel cozy and wrapped up. So we have quite a few around the house. Every once and awhile I think " what about homeless people, wouldn't they love this blanket?" "Do I really need this blanket?" And year after year I keep my stash. How silly is that? How selfish is that? Something will be done about that this weekend. But it doesn't end there really. We have pieces of furniture that our grandparents or great grandparents owned. Or we have old clothes that we might one day fit into again. We have bent nails and old pots and pans. Just. Too. Much.

I am going to look into goodwill and see if they can come by the house and pick up a few things. Things that I know were mine from college that Allen doesn't have attached too. I can freely give those things away. His things are going to much harder to deal with. He wants to "save" them for a garage sale. I totally appreciate his desire to make a little cash but at the end of the day I know us and we are not planning a garage sale any time soon. Hopefully once I start sorting through things and giving them away he can see the stuff that is left that he needs to deal with.

I am going to document the slow going process of basement clean up. It will not be pretty, these pictures that I share. But hopefully it well help me get my tukus movin!

Lovely.

I had a lovely morning.

Molly slept until 8am when her usual rise and shine is at 7am.

I got to make my coffee and take care of a few household needs before we started our day together.

I got to talk with the Lord about many things on my heart.

I got some rest even though I was wide awake.

I witnessed Molly waking and playing in her crib for the first time.

What a lovely morning it was. It was truly a gift.

Eli and his duck

It is funny to me how animals can put a smile on a person's face. Or how they can lift someones spirit when they are feeling a little blue. I am amazed that the kind of bond a human can share with an animal. I have read in newspaper articles how animals can prolong the life of a person because of the joy they bring to people. I know that I feel good when I come home and I see two tails wagging furiously because I simply walked into a room. I love that when I say to Maggie "lets go for a walk" she gets a little pep in her step and goes and gets her leash and brings it to me. My dogs provide me with lots of joy. They also provide me with frustration and elevated levels of stress when they are too loud or when they disobey but so do people.

And once in awhile I will notice (like actually pay attention for more than 5 minutes) and I see that they are doing something cute and likable. For example: this morning while outside Eli found his duck toy. His duck toy is a plush mallard duck that honks when he squeezes it. When he was younger I allowed him to play with it in the house but since he has gotten bigger it is just too much for our small spaces. So outside the duck lives.  Sir Duck spends most of his time in a "dog" basket on our front porch. Today Eli found Sir Duck and had a good ole time in the front yard. When I opened up the front door to let him in he forgot all about Sir Duck and came running in. Then as if a light bulb went off in his brain he quickly turned around and when trotting back to the door. Well I had closed the door determined that Sir Duck would not become another thing for me to pick up. Eli stood at the door and looked at me. He used his puppy dog eyes and whined for me to let him bring his toy inside. It has been 40 minutes and he still wants it. He has paced the floor. He has rested his chin on my knee. Finally at 9:40 he gave up and is asleep on the rug. I know that the next time I let him out it will be like Christmas for him when he see's his beloved toy.

Just a small slice of my morning to share!

I drank humidity

Today on my morning run with Miss Molly I drank in some humidity. I do not ever remember a summer being this HOT. Or this HUMID. I mean, I stepped outside the house and already my glasses were fogged up and my palm were sweaty. Molly dealt with it the only way she could, she slept.

Walking up and down the hills of our neighborhood help me realize what kind of shape I am in but the humidity just makes it about 100xs worse. Later we went to meet a friend for lunch at a local taco stand. Waiting in line to get inside my back started sweating so off came my cardigan. Then my neck started sweating so I put my hair in a pony tail. Then my chest started sweating so off came my bra. For.Real.

Luckily I could pull it off in the dress I was wearing, thank you wal-mart.

Anyone else experience this insane heat wave?

I am amazed

at how much laundry my household produces. Two big people one tiny person.  With the introduction of solids came the increased laundry load but only by a slight amount.

Any tips?

Nap time

Is almost over what's a girl to do?

Should I:

clean the kitchen?

do some laundry?

wash the dishes?

make my bed?

waste time on the internet?

watch tv?


you know what? I don't care because its the summertime 

The great thing about being a mom...

The great thing about being a mom is you get to be a kid again.

For example: The amount of laying on the floor and playing with toys has dramatically increased. My dancing and singing skills are a bit dusty but they are definitely getting a good work out. Making silly faces and rhyming words are part of my daily routine.

One of the hard things about being a mom is that the job is never done.

For example: This summer one of my "goals" was to be able to get Molly on a good nap/sleep schedule. We have done that well thank to Molly and her easy going ways. However, the schedule I put her on was one appropriate for a 4-6 month old. Well in about 2 weeks she will be the grand old age of 7 months. So that means re-vamping the whole schedule again. Then about 3 weeks after that I enter the work force (I am in denial) and Molly goes back to day care. I am sure everything will change then ... again. So yesterday and today during Molly's nap time I took some ME time. I slept. I browsed the world wide web. I got a little bit more organized. Tomorrow I will be reading up on the change of schedules for an older baby. Wish us luck!

Randomness and such

1. I am going to miss my morning "me" time so much when school starts.  Days this summer have gone like this...wake up early, feed molly, play with molly, make real breakfast (more than a slice of bread or granola bar) drink coffee, play with molly, molly naps and I become the most productive person ever. Cleaning, writing, paying bills, reading, catching up with friends etc. Oh I will miss this so much.

2. Spent time at the lake yesterday actually on the lake and realized what a culture it is. Boat people and lake people. Friendly to the nines.

3. Pet peeve. When you are talking to someone on the telephone and you think they are listening but you realize that they were not because response is inappropriate. Example: me: " Our neighborhood has been experiencing some car thefts lately" Person: " oh that is wonderful!"

4. I would love to have our backyard be a place of fun. So in order for that to happen I need: mosquito's to not exist. Dog poop to magically disappear. The lawn to be mowed. Money to appear in bank account so we can spring for cushions (eli ate our couch cushions earlier this year) and some citronella candles. And the heat to dissipate about 15 -20 degrees. Don't think that is asking for too much right?

5. I found a great recipe for a heirloom tomato pizza. Too bad the other adult in this house won't go for it. Should I make for myself?

6. I need a good pillow. Every morning I wake up with back and shoulder pain. Where do you get good pillows?

I hate losing things...

You know when you lose something its the most frustrating thing.  I remember when I first moved to Atlanta and I was struggling a little bit with adjusting to my life outside of college.  Gone were the days when money wasn't a huge issue, friends didn't live right down the hall and time was filled with boring things like traffic and jobs.  I had recently moved to a new city, into a new apartment, with a new job and I thought I was handling it fine.

Then I lost my house keys, and my checkbook and my car keys and about 5 other things. Once I found one item I would lose another. I realized that then and there I was not handling the transition too well and need to s-l-o-w down for a bit.

Well this past summer was a little like that but different. We bought a house, moved into a new house, found out we were pregnant, celebrated husbands birthday, my birthday, traveled to the beach and mountains and with all that going on I misplaced a few things.  One of those things was a brand new compact digital camera that my husband bought me for my birthday.  Once we found the camera we realized we lost the battery charger, the usb cable and about everything else that comes in that little box.

Then we got an Iphone and the pictures on the Iphone looked great. The iphone got upgraded to an iphone 4 and the pictures looked even better.

Then one day I decided I better print some of these great Iphone4 pictures off so I could put them in empty frames around the semi-new house.  Well what a disappointment. The pictures are grainy and cloudy. The first 6months of my daughters life she has amazing pictures on the computer but when printed out she gets a bunch of grainy photos.  I honestly am devastated. Photos are so precious to me and I just am having a hard time getting over the let down.

So now what do I do? Do I buy a brand new camera? The replacement pieces are as expensive as a new camera all added up....?

Crying it out....

I have an opinion as do many others.

Molly has an opinion too. In fact if you were within 10 miles of our house you might be able to hear her opinion.

Video monitors can be such a blessing. But they can also be such a curse.

Gettin' Busy

So despite the broken washer some things are really getting done around this house! It is so nice to finally be home and able to do some things that always get put on that mental to do list.

The past two days we have put clothes away, cleaned out fridge, gone major grocery shopping, cleaned bathtub and guest bathroom floor, vacuumed, mowed the front lawn, dusted around the kitchen and living room, washed kitchen french door windows and washed actual doors.  We also have been eating at home for EVERY meal and today I made chicken salad for our lunches and also dinner for tonight - - poppy seed chicken. Last night was steamed veggies, angel hair pasta and pecan crusted chicken.

Needless to say, I am pretty proud of this productive streak.  There are still many things left to do but it feels so good to get things done.

I hope that this weekend you have been able to do things that make you feel good!

Now what????

Ahhhh it is so nice to be home again and with a working air conditioning unit.

Then this morning after some fun with Molly and Allen, we walked downstairs to be proactive and attack our mounds of laundry.  Much to our dismay our basement was full of water. Standing water. Everywhere.  Covering electrical cords. Covering dirty clothes. Underneath furniture. Every.Where.

What the h?

I mean, thanks for the summer break right?

Things I am loving

1. Raffi kids songs. Not only do they make Molly smile they remind of me being a little girl.
2. My husbands clean shaven face
3. Baked Vidalia Onions
4. Watermelon
5. Giving Molly her bottle right before bed.
6. Air conditioning

Podcasts

Did you know that if you have an Iphone there are TONS of free Iphone podcasts?? I just downloaded some of the following:

1. simple mom
2. famous speeches in History
3. proverbs
4. the history of Rome: the Christian Emperor.

Totally excited about it

Prunes, Green Beans and Pears

So our once new to the world baby is ready for some soilds.  She is moving on up!! We have been given the "all clear" and have started her on a few "first foods."

Her favorite is pears. Her least favorite is Green beans. Prunes she could take or leave. If you haven't had the suprume joy of feeding a baby then you are really missing out. I bet you two hundred dollars that you would not be able to keep from smiling while feeding a gummy, happy baby. I really am looking forward to waking up with Miss Molly and offering her some pears!!

A case of the "i wants"

I hate it when I get a case of the "i wants"

you know what I am talking about. When all of a sudden there a million things that you want. Or at least it feels that way.  Things that I do not need, not in the slightest but I want them. I want a new iphone case. I want the new crochet TOMS. I want some new earrings. I want to get my car cleaned by a professional place and not spend hours in the hot afternoon sun vacuuming out crumbs and washing windows.

I really don't like this. Its so ugly and selfish and materialistic. Ugh.

Living as a nomad

Well the past month I have been assigned a new role. I am already a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. The month of June I have been able to add "nomad" to that list. Allen and I enjoyed a beautiful, fun, and funny week at the beach. I will have to write about that adventure later.

After returning from the week at the beach we came home to an uncomfortably warm house. After checking the inside and outside cooling unit we came to the realization that we were without air conditioning.  We probably could have stayed there that night but I was a worried mom about her baby so we booked a last minute cheapo hotel room at midnight. Yes. Midnight. The next day and two days following we stayed at a friends condo. Then we went home (still without air) but had a portable air conditing unit in our bedroom. It was cool in the bedroom...but that was about it. I tried to spend my time during the day with Molly in the car, at the pool, in the shops.  A good friend of my mom's offered up her lovely home and we were there for almost an entire week!!  Then back to my house for one night and now I am on St.Simons with my family.

Needless to say I am a little out of sorts. Living out of a suitcase is one thing but adding a baby who is becoming more mobile is another. I am so so so thankful for the love and generosity of my friends and my mom's friends. We are beyond thankful that we had a cool place to stay instead of sweating it out in our house. I know now, that I have a major personality adjustment when faced with no air conditioning.

I also put Molly on a new schedule and finally "let her cry it out." All while living in someone else's home. Good idea? I don't know, but I do know that Molly is pretty awesome and I love her all the more. I also love the woman who didn't mind listening to molly cry for 25 minutes before she put herself to sleep.

and the air conditioning? Yeah....we still don't have it.

Memorial Day Weekend

First things first.
Why is that we only have a few three day weekends throughout the year? Why isn't every weekend a three day weekend? I swear people would be happier and more productive at their jobs.

We had a busy Memorial Day weekend. I love this holiday for two reasons. One of course is the opportunity to remember those who have fought for our freedom of past and present and the other is the memories of my wedding day. Even though the actual date is not the same the time of year is. I loved our wedding day and I love talking with Allen about our little memories of that special day.

Back to the rundown. We celebrated Allen's 28th with good friends, babies and authentic Mexican food. We celebrated with cheesecake and chocolate cake as well. We celebrated with candles that glowed blue, pink and yellow.

We slept in on some days and we went to bed early on others. We stayed at the hotel downtown where Gone with the Wind first premiered. We drank lots of coffee and watched the passersby's walk around. We went out to our favorite Thai restaurant. I got a pedicure. Allen gardened. We went to Target. We even did the laundry.

It was a good weekend. I was sad to see it go but I am so glad it stayed around for an extra day!

2-8

Someone is going to be turning 28 at our house in a few hours.....

He is pretty cool.
He used to have longer hair than me.
He is always excited about an opportunity to lead worship
He loves me
He is a great daddy to my baby girl

My morning in photos